Agust D

I know, I know, many who come across this post will think it’s just another fan gushing over Suga from BTS. Well, it isn’t. It’s about how one of his songs explained to me exactly what I couldn’t figure out. Don’t believe me? It’s alright. You can continue reading this if you’d like to.

I’m breathing, I think my hearts broken – these few words helped me put things into perspective. These words are translated from Korean – the song – 28 Agust D (Suga) ft. NiiHWA.

I was not ok, not that I am ok now, though, I am better. But those days, I can’t put into words how sick I felt. There was no reason for it, it wasn’t sadness or self-pity, it was just painful and hollow.

I could not get control or come back on track, I had derailed and I had no idea why. Not having a reason – that’s what makes such spells worse. It was during this mess that I heard Suga’s song. And those words hit me.

The song goes on to talk about becoming an adult without even knowing it, dreams slipping away, and reaching an age where you thought you would be somewhere, but you haven’t even gotten anywhere close to achieving it.

This realization may not seem like something to be grateful for, but it helped me get a grip. My mind had finally understood the reason for the storm ruining its peace. It isn’t like I’m out of that mindset, but knowing why I am in it has given me a kind of peace. A hollow peace that keeps the chaos at bay.

I’m breathing, I think my hearts broken

Thank you, Min Yoongi.