Cut The Leash

I was watching an episode from the show ‘It’s Okay To Not Be Okay’ and came across one surprisingly meaningful story. Well, at least it was very meaningful to me.

The gist of the story – The main character: a dog that was always leashed in a field.

During the day he was happy as children used to play with him. But at night he was very lonely and sad. He wanted to be free and play in the fields.

So, the dog was asked this question: ‘Why don’t you cut the leash?’

His reply was that he had been tied up for so long that he had forgotten how to cut the leash.

The last line struck a chord with me. I feel like I have been tied down. My fears, self-doubt, field, the list goes on. The path I have taken is like the leash. I’m trapped on it, but I want to change lanes. I want to hit the brakes and steer onto another path. But I don’t know how to get onto the path that truly makes me happy.

The thing is, that is not entirely true. I know how to change lanes but I don’t have the confidence to take the leap. I’m staying on the safe road, not out of want, but out of fear. Fear rules my life. Recently I have started to fight back. But it is a fight that knocks me down every time.

The day I leave this field will be the day I win. The day is drawing closer, I can feel it. But I need to be patient. Something needs to shift a little, I don’t know what, but I know I have to wait for now. My current situation is chipping away at my sanity but I need to deal with it for now.

The day I finally be who I really am, do what truly makes me happy, let go; that’s the day I win the fight for good and walk away victorious. I just need that tiny spark to turn into a blazing flame. That will be my queue to let that flame burn the old and bring in the new. A flame that lights up my life.

A Look Into The Future…

I left my field and packed up my stuff. I had no plan about the future, everyone was disappointed in me. But I had faith in myself. I had faith in my writing.

I went on a trip around the globe with the money I saved from killing my soul. My only companion – French Vanilla. I blogged and blogged about random things throughout my trip. One fine day, my blog got noticed and there was no turning back.

I sit at the swing set facing the lake and smile to myself – today marked 4 years since that day. 4 years since my life got onto a path it was meant for. French Vanilla – my happy place – is the blog that changed reality into my happy place. It is the blog that changed my life.