Fight Or Flight

I had just logged out from work and shut down my laptop. It was still a work from home situation, but one I had not expected.

Several months ago, I had come to South Korea for a holiday. It was supposed to be a two-week vacation. The plan – spend a week at Lake 192 and the other in Seoul. Jin happened to be filming in the same area as Lake 192 and we crossed paths.

But the pandemic struck without a warning and I was stranded at Lake 192. Long story short – Jin moved in with me. He managed to strike a deal with the owner of Lake 192 and rented out the place indefinitely.

Somehow, I managed to keep my job by working from South Korea. And that’s how I ended up at this moment in time. The good thing – I’m stuck on a never-ending vacation in South Korea. The not so good thing – work pressure is not great.

I was sitting on the floor and used the coffee table as my desk. It was an extremely long day at work. I was exhausted, I just wanted to sleep but I didn’t have the energy to get myself onto the couch. So I just rested my head on my arms that were resting on the cold table and closed my eyes. Finally, the day had ended.

“Allie?”, Jin said softly. I opened my eyes and found him kneeling down next to me.

“Hi babe”, I smiled at him dreamily. I looked at him sideways, my face still resting on my arms.

“I want to talk to you”, he said and took my hand and helped me to my feet.

“Come with me”, he said and we stepped out and walked across the lawn towards the tent set up by the picnic table. It was a cozy place Jin set up for us. Soft yellow string lights lit up this tiny hideout. And the fuzzy mattress at the base made it very difficult to leave once inside.

We both sat across each other inside our little tent.

“Allie, why are you working at your current job?”

“Because I need the money”

“No, you don’t”, he said, but I could sense irritation in his voice. This triggered me, why was he getting irritated? Anger crept up on me.

“What do you mean?”, I asked, trying to control my temper.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You don’t need to put yourself through this stress”, he said through gritted teeth, his eyes still closed.

“Then how will I be able to support myself?!”, I asked hysterically, surprised at his words.

“I’m here”, he said, finally meeting my eyes.

“So?”, I asked, now I was pissed. What the hell does he mean. Does he want me to give up my job? Does he think he owns me?! Who is he to tell me what to do! What the hell?!

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ‘SO’?!, this time he yelled.

I flinched and he immediately tried to take my hand. But I moved aside and looked the other way.

“Allie, you love blogging, why don’t you just leave this job and be happy”, he said calmly and tried to hold my hand. This time I let him.

“Jin, I make nothing from my blog, not a single penny…”, I said, calming down.

“I’m here”

“So?”

He dropped my hand and folded his arms.

“Allie, leave the job”, he said sternly.

“You can’t tell me what to do”, I said sharply, anger sweeping over me again.

“That job is killing you!”

“I have no choice!”

It seemed like we were having a yelling match inside our tiny tent.

“You have a choice, you don’t need to work like this ever again!”

“How do I have this choice Jin?”, I asked, exasperated.

“What’s mine is yours”, he said, not a hint of ego in his voice at all.

“What do you mean?”

“Allie, I have enough money for the both of us to retire at this moment”

“But it is your hard-earned money”

“No, it is ‘Ours”

This irritated me even more.

“How can you say that Jin? I just came into your life. We don’t even know what the future holds..”

“WHAT?!”, he was shocked. My words seemed to have stung him.

“I’m just saying, I don’t know how long we will be together..”, I said matter-of-factly.

“Are you serious Allie?”, he said softly, like his breath had been knocked out of him.

“What if you find someone else? Girls are literally throwing themselves at you. It’s highly possible you may meet someone better than me and….”

“Allie, I cannot believe you’re saying this”, he cut me off, surprise written all over his face.

“After all this time, this is what you think of me?”, he asked hurt.

“People change within an instant…”

“Shut up!”, he screamed at me.

“How much more do I need to prove to you that you are the one for me! I can’t believe you have such an opinion of me…”

“I’m just being practical”

“No, you’re being stupid. You are the one that needs to figure out whether you are in this relationship for life!”

“Of course I am, and don’t call me STUPID, stupid!”

“I’m sorry, that won’t happen again, but are you in this relationship for life?!”, he asked angrily.

“Yes”

“I don’t believe you”

“What do you want me to do to prove it to you?”, I asked, irritated. What does this guy want from me, *ugh*

“Why are you getting irritated?”

“You’re irritating me”

“Fine, I’m leaving”

“Go!”

level up cover final

Level Up

I was expecting him to break up with me, but it still hurt. I thought it would happen sometime later, not so soon. “See, I told you, people leave”, I thought to myself, as I sat in the tent, completely void of any feeling. Within a couple of minutes, he came back inside with ramen… Continue Reading →

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