Unwanted Regression

Do you ever feel so mind numbly down? You think you finally got over all the hurt but then suddenly it hits? And because it hits, you feel like all those years of effort you put in to build yourself up have gone to waste?

Yes – I’m there right now. But it will pass because I know I haven’t gone back to square one. I just moved ahead too quickly. I need to retreat for a bit.

How can the people who hurt you be so heartless? I just can’t wrap my mind around it. They literally destroy your life and don’t give two fucks about it. They knowingly came down on you when you were being attacked from within. They saw you down and came with their pitchforks to join in on the attack. They schemed and plotted with the attacker.

And not unknown people, people who have known you since you were conceived. They came and left us for dead. We picked ourselves up and dressed our own wounds.

Do they even regret it? I guess I will never know.

There is an uncanny calm now within the walls. But I know that there is a storm being conjured up. That is why it is so calm within. I have this gut feeling that some lies are being spread as I type this. Some other set of people must be hearing it.

Yes, you’re right, I’m being paranoid. But after living through what can happen, I think paranoia is my friend. It just lets me guess the worst scenario and sometimes even that isn’t as bad as reality. Haha, it is what it is.

Anyways, I’m headed back down to the bottom of the ocean for a while. The weekly posts have restarted. Until next time, whoever is out there, reading this, we’ll get through whatever it is we are getting through. *Fighting!*