Don’t you ever want to just fuck off? Aren’t you fed up of continuously fighting the crap life throws at you? Every time you pick yourself up there is something that hauls itself at you, knocking you back down.
I’m tired of picking up the sword and fighting on the battlefield of life. I picture myself on a grassy stretch of land in a suit of armour. The aura is hazy and chaotic, right in the middle of an ancient war zone. I’m one human moving forward through hundreds of armoured enemies coming my way.
In the distance I see a Big House, Big Car and Big Rings, waiting for me behind a yellow chalky line drawn along the ground. I see them while I fight the armoured enemies coming at me. I’m exhausted, bleeding, tired.
All of a sudden, it is peaceful and I keep my sword back in its scabbard and smile. I start running towards the yellow line. But then again, I’m rammed into from the side by an armoured being and my sword is back in my hand. The fight continues.
I’m at the point where I don’t see the point of the fight anymore. I’m dropping the sword and getting off the battlefield. Is life all about just fighting to hang on? Is getting to that yellow line a broken person worth it?
I’ve made progress, no doubt. The Big House, Big Car and Big Rings aren’t a speck in the distance anymore. Now I see their details clearly, you can say a little over 500 meters away. But I am tired and drained.
I’m on the ground, crawling towards that line while the enemy is kicking me in the gut. I scream and get to my feet. I throw down the sword and walk off the battlefield. I have fought enough. If the Big House, Big Car and Big Rings want me, then that fucking yellow line better move towards me.
I’ve come this far, now life better come meet me at the end game.
Last night, after a very long time, a couple of years to be specific, I had a moment of absolute peace. Everything seemed to align. I used to be very close to this head space years ago. Not at that perfect point, but damn near close to it. It was then when I had that…